She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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