We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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