shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Damn victory sex feels great
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I forget how to act sober
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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