Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
