Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
