Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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