3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
