Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and she was petting her beer can
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
