i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize