turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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