Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize