She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
