Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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