I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
ttyl tear gas
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
