I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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