Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
