she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
