Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
