My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
