I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.