i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.