I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.