I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms