I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
