That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
COCAINE IS GR8
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
