Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
