make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
