Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you inspire me to be a worse person
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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