so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
