Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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