I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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