just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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