I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize