Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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