Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
