What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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