How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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