So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
