I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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