I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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