i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
