oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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