He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
