Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize