you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
