Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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