I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
