Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
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It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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