I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
