PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
