I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
