Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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