Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
