Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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