I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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