what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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