No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
