Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
