dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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