Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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