I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
